Meet Your Despair!
by Naia101
Summary: Basically, Monokuma, as a game host. And that's pretty much it. I got bored, DON'T JUDGE ME! One-shot.


"Hello! And welcome to Meet Your Despair! Hosted by me, Monokuma!"  
"Why am I even here?"  
"Not YOU again!"  
"I thought you died... WHO ARE YOU?!"  
"Hmph, so, the game continues..."  
"*sniff* Huh? Uh? I'm awake."  
"I NEED TO SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"  
Monokuma simply walked off of the raised part of the stage, and continued talking.  
"So, today, I would like to welcome our contenders:  
Makoto Naegi!  
Byakuya Togami!  
Chiaki Nanami!  
Hajime Hinata!  
Kazuichi Soda!  
Teruteru Hanamure  
Sonia Nevermind!  
Gundham Tanaka!  
Nagito Komaeda!  
Nekomaru Nidai!  
Toko Fukawa!  
And, Kyoko Kirigiri!  
Don't worry about the bloated cast, we'll thin the numbers soon enough!"  
A sadistic grin twitched at the side of his mouth.  
"How did you even get us here?!"  
Naegi was taking it pretty hard.  
"Don't sweat the small stuff! Moving on! In this game, I basically give you any task I can think of, and whoever can complete it both correctly and ALIVE, won't get axed!"  
Everyone's eyes immediately darted towards to large wood-chopping axe decorating the wall, but they all knew, it could, really be anything.  
"OK! Let's get the ball rolling, first task!"

"Now, first, I want you kiddos to get out of your containers!"  
A wave of confused looks followed.  
"What, 'contai-"  
Kazuichi didn't have a chance to finish.  
"DAMN IT!"  
A collective yell, as everyone noticed the cages that had, seemingly, appeared from nowhere.  
"And, removal of limbs is allowed, recommended, and encouraged in this task!"

As expected, Kazuichi was immediately pulling tools out from his belt, not noticing, as almost everyone else, excluding Nekomaru, who was just pulling at the bars, that there were a number of tools laid just in reach through the bars. The only problem, was that these tools were a bit extreme, and everyone was in such close proximity, it was impossible to use them without affecting anyone else.  
Teruteru, ignoring this fact, had grabbed a flamethrower. Toko was, most likely purposefully by Monokuma, right next to Byakuya and was trying to break through the bars towards HIM, not the way out, while he was pressed against the bars as far away as possible from her, thinking frantically.  
Nagito was next to Teruteru and was just waiting for his luck to kick in, and suddenly, the sound of Byakuya's panicked, or as panicked as he could be, cry filled the air as he shouted,  
"No, Fukawa, now is NOT the time for thi-"  
Too late. Toko had grabbed a tazer and...  
You get the idea. The only thing that got worse was, Nagito seemed to have gotten bored of waiting. With a quick mutter of,  
"For the sake of Hope!"  
He grabbed the explosives. Monokuma was laughing his (her?) head off, as Makoto just said to himself,  
"Why can't you be, just a bit more normal?"  
The only answer he got was an explosion that was as loud as a tsunami and Nagito's cry of  
"HOOOOOOOOOOOOPE!" as everyone was swept away.

Unfortunately, Teruteru, didn't make it. There was nothing lucky, about being put next to the Super Duper High School Level Luckster in a life-or-death situation...

"Congratulations! You actually made it to the Game Show!"  
Everyone who wasn't dead was recovering from the shock of, you know, being blown up.  
"What? That was just the entrance ceremony?! You almost killed my White Knight! Even though I do LOOOOOOOVE a good explosion!"  
It was obvious who had said that, even with the dusty fog. An insane cackle filled the air like it had substance. Monokuma just laughed.  
"Oh, we've only just begun! Upupupupupupupu!"  
Everyone was silent, since half the 'live' audience was dead, the rest in shock, and the students were cramming around the body. Well, except Byakuya and what was now Genocider. He was just sneering and she, per usual, was drooling and brandishing her scissors behind him.

It didn't take long for Monokuma to get bored.  
"OK, kids, time ta go! We've got a LOT more to do today!"  
The body of Teruteru was gone in an instant. God knows how, but this was Monokuma, so...

After everyone had somewhat assembled, Monokuma announced the next task.  
"First person to reach the end of this obstical course, wins some game benefits. And, a lifetime supply of bagels."  
At this, everyone's eyes filled with dread. Even the esteemed eyes of Byakuya Togami.

Nagito had lost all traces of sanity. (That is, if he had had any to start with.)

The course laid in front of them looked less like a course and more like death trap. Nagito, of course, ran forward, instantly. His luck giving him the advantage. It was like some unknown force was keeping everything away from him. It was quite the sight.

The others followed in hot pursuit. Genocider was... Carrying Byakuya, it seemed, through the course, deflecting incoming attacks with her scissors. Kazuichi seemed to be struggling to get onto the course itself, past the Indiana Jones style axes coming down like guillotines.  
"Miss Sonia!" He shouted, but she was just holding hands with Gundham as he helped her get past the spikes on the floor, ignoring him.  
Makoto and Hajime were trying to work together to get past the swords coming out of the walls, and Nekomaru was just plowing through the course with Chiaki and Kyoko following in his wake, free of any obstacles.

Suddenly, there was an almighty sound of slicing flesh and everyone stopped. Nagito Komaeda was holding the stub that had been his hand. Everyone except Sonia, Byakuya and Genocider screamed. For some reason, it wasn't bleeding. Silence spread throughout the room (other than the sound of the moving weapons) but he just said,  
"Don't worry, that hand was long dead anyway! I'll just find it and reattach it!"  
Again, more screaming.  
Before anyone else moved, he was at the finish line and had claimed the small, frankly fake-looking, trophy. Before long the others had joined him, other than...

AAAAAGH!

Kazuichi hadn't made it past the start. Somehow a hole had opened beneath him and he was plummeting down, but, somehow, no one had noticed.  
Poor Kazuichi.  
Monokuma just kind of shrugged.

Before anyone could even get their breath back, he was announcing the next challenge.  
"QUIZ TIME!"  
A collective groan followed, but they still found themselves at the podiums.  
"HOW THE HELL IS HE DOING THIS?!"  
But no one was paying attention to Makoto.  
"Sooooooo! First question!" Monokuma said.  
"What is the best thing in the world?  
M. Despair  
O. Despair  
N. Despair  
O. Despair  
K. Despair  
U. Despair  
M. Despair  
A. Despair"

Byakuya simply sighed and said,  
"I feel like this is slightly one sided. Very well..."  
Everyone, surprisingly, got the answer right.  
"Next question!  
What is the best way to skin a rabbit?"  
For some reason, a picture of Monomi came up on the monitor.  
"D. With a knife  
E. With the Monobeasts  
S. With pink paint  
P. With a mouse  
A. With a machine gun  
I. With your claws  
R. Despair"

Unfortunately, Nekomaru didn't quite realise how this system obviously worked. He put  
'S. With pink paint'.  
Don't know what rabbits he was thinking about, but, needless to say, he ended up quite similar to Kazuichi. All that was left was his cry of,  
"SHIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiit."  
that followed him down the trapdoor.

Monokuma obviously only wanted to eliminate someone, because as soon as this happened, he said,  
"OK! Next and FINAL challenge!"

The next thing anyone knew, Byakuya and Makoto were in a cage arena.  
"KILL EACH OTHER!"  
Monokuma was clearly enjoying it waaaaaay more that was normal, even for him.  
"What?! NO! I would never kill anyon-"  
"I would say that I'm sorry, Naegi, but I'm really not."  
"Wha?..."  
Was all he had time to sat before he was skewed by the end of Byakuya's rod.

For some reason, Monokuma didn't make anyone else fight. All he said was,  
"Did I say final? Oh, well, THIS is the last one, cross my heart, despair to die!"  
He then proceeded to burn the building down, saying that,  
"If you can get out, you win and survive!"  
His maniacal laughter taunted them all as the place collapsed around them.

"You son or a-"

But the ceiling collapsed before they could finish.

By the end of it all, as the smouldering remains were nothing but ash, one person was left standing.  
"Huh. I must say, I expected YOU to survive."  
All Nagito did was grin, and eat his bagels.

 **A/n Well. This is why I should get a hobby. Never let me get bored again. I really, have nothing to say...**


End file.
